440 Comments

Krönika i Karlskoga tidning/Kuriren 10 november

Jag kan inte minnas när jag senast var lite uttråkad för att jag inte hade något att göra.
För jag har alltid något att göra. Det har vi allihop. Vi pratar med varandra i farten mellan brödhyllorna och köttdisken på Kronhallen. En har stuckit in för att handla lite snabbt på väg hem från jobbet, den andra har just skjutsat ett barn till fotbollsträningen och är nu här för en tiominutershandling innan det är dags att hämta barn 2 vid en annan aktivitet och sen tillbaka till fotbollsträningen och sen hem.

Vi är en tokstressad generation, det visar den dystra statistiken som berättar om utmattningssyndrom och alla möjliga andra stressrelaterade diagnoser som ökar. Mammor som till slut inte ens längre orkar gå in bland hyllorna på Kronhallen utan bara blir sittande, stirrande, i bilen på parkeringen.
När den som alltid haft koll på allt plötsligt inte längre minns vad som borde ha handlats hem till middagen.

Det är lätt att gå sönder när det aldrig finns tid att bli hel.

Ibland tänker jag på det som ett systemfel. Något blev fel när vi började plussa på nya aktiviteter utan att ta bort några andra.
Det är förstås jättebra att hemmafru-samhället är borta och att kvinnor jobbar lika självklart som att männen gör det, men vi missade att samtidigt minska på kraven därhemma. För tydligen känner så många fortfarande att det måste vara lika fint och rent som på den tiden när en i familjen alltid var hemma och gjorde allt det där.
Men vem kan både putsa fönster och vara på jobbet samtidigt? Hur ska det gå till?
Sen la vi till ännu mer i våra kalendrar. Egen träning, till exempel. Jättebra, såklart. Men återigen glömde vi att ta bort något annat.

Barnen börjar numera på aktiviteter innan de har fyllt tre. Och sen bara fortsätter det. Vi föräldrar engagerar oss, såklart, och säljer NewBody-kläder, Idrottsrabatten och står i kiosker.
Vi gör det för att vi vill. Också för att vi är tacksamma, mot de som tar ett ännu större ideellt ansvar som ledare. Hur hinner folk det? Tog de bort något annat ur tillvaron, eller plussade de bara på?

För det känns som att nånting blev fel på vägen. Även om mycket av allt vi omger oss med är fantastiskt, roligt och meningsfullt så tänker jag ibland att vi tappade bort oss själva litegrann bland alla vita väggar, träningstights och polerade kök.
Jag vet inte om vi bara kan säga längre att det är upp till oss själva, att vi måste bli bättre på att fatta att vi inte kan vara perfekta. Att vi får ha skit i hörnen. Att köpebröd är okej. Att vi är Good Enough.
Jag vet inte om vi klarar det, för det känns som att alla hjul redan snurrar så fort. Men vem ska ta ansvaret för alla mammorna i bilarna utanför mataffärerna och idrottshallarna som inte orkar mer?
Vem drar i handbromsen för allt, för alla, samtidigt? Så att vi får mer tid att prata, mer tid att andas, mer tid att orka.
Vem skapar tid för att laga, innan alldeles för mycket trasats sönder och inte längre går att göra helt?

IMG_7863
Ibland tänker jag mig tillbaka hit. En av de mest avkopplande platser jag har varit på, hängmattan utanför vårt lilla hus på ön Ometepe, Nicaragua.

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